Giving it to Him

Living in bitterness, anger, and sadness is honestly the worst way to live. In my opinion, maybe not yours, it is worse than living in poverty. I have lived (sort of) my life with bitterness eating away at my heart, anger binding my soul, and sadness leaving me feeling rather empty. As I look back on those times of life, I can’t imagine how I made it through each day. It sucked the life out of me. I didn’t enjoy moments throughout the day and I missed out on much happiness. Now these times never lasted long compared to what some people hold on to. Some people hold onto these feelings for years and years or an entire lifetime. I’m sure we all know someone who is angry and bitter. We know the unhappiness they have for the world that surrounds them. We have either heard their unkind words or been the target of them. Our world is surrounded by people who hold on to the past, who get angry at the drop of a hat, and who never allow their wounds to heal. Or maybe you’re one of those people..

For me, I eventually realized that I was not giving my bitterness, anger, and sadness to God. I was not allowing him to put his hands on it and fix the broken pieces, which in return was causing more brokenness. I finally cried out to him and said, here it’s yours, I can’t do this on my own anymore. Ephesians 2:10 says, “It is God himself who has made us what we are and given us new lives from Jesus Christ; and long ages ago we should spend these lives in helping others.” Once the healing process started, once the growth began, once I met with him each day and read his word, my life changed.

I noticed this when I was hanging out with my parents in the kitchen one day. Usually I would feel really annoyed when I was with them and I would quickly retreat to my room. But after giving God my broken pieces and inviting his fire into my life, I truly enjoyed my time with my parents. I laughed and felt so incredibly free. My parents hadn't changed, but I had. It didn’t necessarily change my parents, but it changed that moment and that memory for me. I was standing inside of subway today and I just stopped and listened to the chaos surrounding me. Children being crazy, the line extremely long, too much sauce squeezed on a ladies sandwich; I just smiled because in that moment I chose to live in the happiness and peace the Lord has given me because he died on the cross.

I know that circumstances aren’t always ideal. I know that people have bills, and kids, and school loans, and illnesses, and a billion other things I could name off that can can make life tough. But I think of the people who went to Jesus for healing or his disciples that left everything to learn from him, I’m pretty sure they weren’t living in ideal circumstances yet they trusted in him enough to reach out for life and for healing. That in itself is inspiring enough to me. Not only that but if by giving me a new life, and a new perspective each day as I lay my heart at the cross, will give me the power and strength to help others and to love others greater then I’m all in and my prayer is that you are too. So if you’re broken, if you’re bitter and angry just give it all to him because he knows what to do with it and he will set you free.

“And I could hold on I could hold on to who I am and never let You change me from the inside And I could be safe I could be safe here in Your arms and never leave home Never let these walls down
But you have called me higher You have called me deeper And I will go where you will lead me Lord”

“Set a fire down in my soul, that I can’t contain, that I can’t control. I want more of you God, I want more of you God.”

A fire usually starts small. A tiny flame can engulf a house in a matter of minutes. Once the flame gets going, it moves from room to room until every part of it is burnt to the ground. When you start a bonfire, the flame starts off small, lighting up one piece of wood but very quickly engulfing every piece. A fire doesn’t stay in one same room. It doesn’t stop in the living room and decide to skip the bedrooms and the bathroom. A wildfire doesn’t stop after half of the forest burns, it wants the whole thing. A fire isn’t safe, it isn’t weak, it isn’t small.

The bible often uses fire as a representation of God’s presence. God’s presence isn’t small, it isn’t safe, it isn’t weak. It’s a wildfire. Here’s the thing about Jesus, he will be a gentleman. He will knock patiently. He will wait for you to open that door. But when you open that door, his presence will engulf you like a wildfire. When you engage the Holy Spirit, you better be ready for some crazy, good things to start happening and some crazy hard things. His flame is unquenchable.

He will burn away all the unnecessary things from your life. He will burn up the chafe. He will burn away the bad habits, the bad relationships, he will remove what is unholy. This isn’t easy. If you want to live an amazing life full of his presence, it won’t be easy. You may have to let go of that friendship, or not answer that call, or stop going to that website, or stop gossiping, or spend less time on net flex, or a million other things he may call you to do. Jesus will baptize you with fire, and if you're serious about it, then your life is going to be changed.

Something that I heard really changed my perspective on things. One thing we are called to do it to pursue holiness and purity. Sometimes I get into this mindset that I need to serve, and pray, and read my bible, and not sin because God is up there looking down upon me and isn’t proud of, so I do those things to make him proud. But God doesn’t want us to pursue holiness so he can be proud of us, he wants us to pursue holiness so that he can be close to us. He wants his presence to be a part of you, burning in the depths of your soul. This is beautiful to me. God isn’t interested in giving us a high five, he wants to hold us. He wants us to climb upon his lap and cling to him. It’s so easy to get into this worker bee mindset, when in reality we are meant to be set free, to be creative, and to live.

"I have come to set the world on fire, and I wish it were already burning!” Luke 12:49 Jesus is inviting you to be a part of the fire. To burn bright. He wants you to burn so bright for him it draws others to him. Don’t be afraid for the fire to burn away the unnecessary in your life, because it will bring you closer to him. He will burn through your burdens, your bitterness, your hurt, your pride, your bad habits. You will love greater, you will breathe deeper, you will serve more, you will be changed. Don’t be afraid to lift your hands up in praise or to sing with all of your lungs (and possibly terrible voice like mine), don’t be afraid to sacrifice some things, don’t be afraid to find a community and make new friends, and don’t be afraid to love. Love will change you. Love will make you do things you never knew you could do. Love will cause you to take risks. But love will leave you with a soul that is full of an unfathomable peace.

"I baptize you with water for repentance. But after me comes one who is more powerful than I, whose sandals I am not worthy to carry. He will baptize you with the Holy Spirit and fire.” Matthew 3:11