Giving it to Him

Living in bitterness, anger, and sadness is honestly the worst way to live. In my opinion, maybe not yours, it is worse than living in poverty. I have lived (sort of) my life with bitterness eating away at my heart, anger binding my soul, and sadness leaving me feeling rather empty. As I look back on those times of life, I can’t imagine how I made it through each day. It sucked the life out of me. I didn’t enjoy moments throughout the day and I missed out on much happiness. Now these times never lasted long compared to what some people hold on to. Some people hold onto these feelings for years and years or an entire lifetime. I’m sure we all know someone who is angry and bitter. We know the unhappiness they have for the world that surrounds them. We have either heard their unkind words or been the target of them. Our world is surrounded by people who hold on to the past, who get angry at the drop of a hat, and who never allow their wounds to heal. Or maybe you’re one of those people..

For me, I eventually realized that I was not giving my bitterness, anger, and sadness to God. I was not allowing him to put his hands on it and fix the broken pieces, which in return was causing more brokenness. I finally cried out to him and said, here it’s yours, I can’t do this on my own anymore. Ephesians 2:10 says, “It is God himself who has made us what we are and given us new lives from Jesus Christ; and long ages ago we should spend these lives in helping others.” Once the healing process started, once the growth began, once I met with him each day and read his word, my life changed.

I noticed this when I was hanging out with my parents in the kitchen one day. Usually I would feel really annoyed when I was with them and I would quickly retreat to my room. But after giving God my broken pieces and inviting his fire into my life, I truly enjoyed my time with my parents. I laughed and felt so incredibly free. My parents hadn't changed, but I had. It didn’t necessarily change my parents, but it changed that moment and that memory for me. I was standing inside of subway today and I just stopped and listened to the chaos surrounding me. Children being crazy, the line extremely long, too much sauce squeezed on a ladies sandwich; I just smiled because in that moment I chose to live in the happiness and peace the Lord has given me because he died on the cross.

I know that circumstances aren’t always ideal. I know that people have bills, and kids, and school loans, and illnesses, and a billion other things I could name off that can can make life tough. But I think of the people who went to Jesus for healing or his disciples that left everything to learn from him, I’m pretty sure they weren’t living in ideal circumstances yet they trusted in him enough to reach out for life and for healing. That in itself is inspiring enough to me. Not only that but if by giving me a new life, and a new perspective each day as I lay my heart at the cross, will give me the power and strength to help others and to love others greater then I’m all in and my prayer is that you are too. So if you’re broken, if you’re bitter and angry just give it all to him because he knows what to do with it and he will set you free.

“And I could hold on I could hold on to who I am and never let You change me from the inside And I could be safe I could be safe here in Your arms and never leave home Never let these walls down
But you have called me higher You have called me deeper And I will go where you will lead me Lord”