Ever since I was a little girl I've been fascinated by romance. I started reading love stories between Anne and Gil from Anne of Green Gables, Laura Ingalls and Almanzo, Mr. Darcy and Elizabeth; the couples could go on and on. There's something beautiful about love stories don't you think? What girl doesn't want to be given flowers or cooked a candlelit meal and have a beautiful song dedicated to them. We all desire someone to be our companion, our confident, our best friend, and our soul mate.
I've read A LOT of books on relationships and many of them have really wonderful tips on how to love someone and do it "right". But I don't think that's how God designed us. He didn't design us to all have the exact same story, he didn't design us to be the same. So I realize now that me and Andrew are creating our own love story and it is beautiful, all on its own without me reading 5 relationship books a week. Part of the story is making mistakes but getting stronger while you work through things. It's about forgiving that person and choosing to do better next time. It's about humility. It's about honor. It's about growth. Love shouldn't age like milk, it should age like fine wine; getting better each week, each month, each year.
I used to be the type of girl who wanted to fix people. Instead of using my energy to work on things in myself I would focus on what needed to be changed about them. But love isn't about being perfect. It isn't about doing everything right. Love is patient and love is kind. I've learned that when Andrew wants space, I should respect his time of space, because that is love. When my parents ask me to do some laundry, I should do it without a grumble, because that is love. When a friend makes a mistake, I should be her shoulder to cry on, because that is love. It can be so easy to become selfish and needy but love is greater than this. Love isn't expectations from the other person. Love is a gift. A beautiful gift of grace from God. When you love someone you trust them, you respect them, you encourage them, you forgive them. And we are called to love everyone. There's a story in the bible regarding men throwing stone at a woman. But they could not throw the stone because they had all sinned just as she had. And then, Jesus, the one who is pure and righteous, not a sin upon his heart, chose love.
The best book I've gotten relationship advice from is the bible. There isn't books specifically on romance, or dating, or all of the worldly names we give things but there is some great advice for a solid foundation to build on. It all starts with Jesus. The lover of our soul. God created us with love, you were created by love, and then when sin came along and tried to destroy us, God sent us Jesus and we were then saved by love. So our lives, whether single, dating, married, widowed is already part of the original love story. A love between a father and his children. Unconditional and forgiving. A love strong enough to soften the hardest of hearts.
1 John 4:7 Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God; and everyone who loves is born of God and knows God.
"Love is unselfishly choosing for another's highest good" -C.S. Lewis
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